Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Jokes Quotes


Joke Quotes


Patient: Is the doctor in? Nurse: ''No, sir,''
Patient: ''Have you any idea when he'll be back?''
Nuse: ''No, Sir He went out on the an eternity case.''
Doctor: ''Did you cancell all engage-ments as I told you?''
Nurse: Yes Sir, but Miss Catihno didn't take it very well. She said you were to marry her next Frieday!''
Doctor: Well young man, you owe this remarkable recovery to your wife's tender care.''
Patient: ''Glad to hear you admit it, doctor'' came the rejoinder. ''That being the case, I'll just make out the cheque to the little woman!''
Soon after the habitual drinker got cured he was at large again. A friend asked him how it had been.
''Ghastly experience!'' he declared. ''Why, I lived for days and days on nothing but food and water.''
Dentist: Open wide, please wider.''
Patient: ''A-AA'Ah.''
Dentist: {instering rubber gag; towel and sponge}:
Nurse: ''Congratulations, Mr. Phillips you have just become the father of twins.''
Mr. Phillips: ''Oh, that's wonderful. Now nurse you have to promise not to tell my wife, I want to surprise her!''
''Good morning nurse,'' said the doctor, ''And how's the patient this morning?''
''I think he's improving'' said the nurse without hesitation. ''He just tried to blow the foam off his medicine.''
Interviewing a new nurse, the Super-intendment of the Hospital asked why she had left her last post.
I didn't like the set-up, ''said the nurse frankly, ''The child was back-ward and the father was forward.''
Nurse: It's twins, madam!''
Patient: ''Nonsense, I never had date with two persons.''
Doctor: ;;Nurse what happened to the patient who was on 2772??''
Nurse: ''She was running a fever of 105, so I put haer with the guy who has the chills.''
Once a Pakistan actress sent this letter to a clothing store in Lahore: ''Please cancel my order for the dress you were supposed to deliver. My delivery was faster than yours!''
Film Extra: ''So would you get my signatures on the contract sir!''
Producer: ''A verbal contract is enough:''
Film Extra: ''But Sir, last time I'd a verbal contract and I drew a verbal salary.''
Actor": ''We will never forget this honeymoon,''said he to an actress. ''Shall we?''
Actress: ''No certainly not, she replied, ''No matter how many each of us has in the future.''
Film Star: ''If you send a good reporter, I'll give you full story of the murder.''
Editor: When did the murder take place?''
Film Star: ''Next Friday. You can be the witness to the whole tragedy.''
''Only theatre in town burned to the ground this afternoon. No performance. Receipts $300.
Lawyer: ''Why do you want to divorce you husband?''
Film Actress: ''Because he has flat feet.''
Lawyer: ''Flat feet! What do you mean by that?''
Film Actress: ''I have found his feet on another man''.


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