Friday, 14 February 2014

Smile Funny Jokes

Entertainment For Kids   Funny Jokes Latife

 Smile Funny Jokes
 


Aik aadmi aik dukandar ke pas gya our kehne laga
Kya thumare pas sunhari nib wala pin hai?
Dukandar ne kaha haan hai
Wo aadmi kehne laga mery pas bhi hai.
   
Aik shakhs ne faqeer sy kaha
Kal taq tu tum langare ban kr bheek mang rahe thy
Our aj andhe ho kar mang rahe ho?
Faqeer ne kaha aj kal sanice ki traqi ka zamna hai
Nat naye tajribe ho rahe hai mein bhi tajrba kr ke dakh raha hun
Ke kis dhang sy zyada bheek milti hai

 
Baap ko bate ke mustaqbal ki bari fikr thi
Ke ise kon sa fan sakhya jaye
Is swal ki hal krne ke liye is ne larke ko aik kamre mein bajha
Jaha table par aik saib aik katab our daz rupe ka not rakh diya
Baap ka khyal tha ke ager larke ne kamre mein ja kar saib kahya to
wo kasan bana dy ga or ager katab uthai tu alaim bane ga
or ager not uthya tu tajar bna dy ga
Larka jub kamre mein gya tu is ne dekha ke
larka katab ko god mein rakhe saib kaha raha hai
Our not is ki jaib mein nazar aa raha hai
Ye dakh kr baap ne larke ko saysdan ban'ne ka fasla kiya.
 


Pehla femi: Yaar mein jaha jata hun tum mery sath hoty ho
Dusra femi: Tum jidhr bi jao gy mein thumare peche aoo ga
Pehla femi: Agr mein lahore jao tu?
Dusra femi: Mein bhi  thumare peche chala aoo ga
 Pehla femi: Agr mein drya mein chlang laga dun tu?
Dusra femi: Mein bahir bath kr thumara intzar karo ga
 
Aik kanjus aadmi sy is ke dost ne application  ki
Tum apni kanjus angotti nashni ke tor par dy do
Ta ke jub bi is pr meri nazar pare gi tu mujy thumari yaad aa jaye gi
Kanjus aadmi ne kaha Jub mujy kabhi tum yaad krna chaho
Tu ye yaad kr lena ke tum ne muj sy angotti mangi thi our mein ny nhn di thi.
 
Aik aadmi job ki tlash mein aik malik ke pass gya.
Malik ne pocha khana pakna jante ho?
Ji haan
Car chlna jante ho?
Ji haan?
Jhot bolna jante ho
Is pr is ne jawab diya aap ka kya khyall hai
 abhi taq mein kya kr raha hun

 
Aik bewakoof dusare sy ghas khane sy ankho ki roshni brahti hai
Dusra bewakoof thk khety ho isi liye ghore ko ainak lagne ki zurart pesh nhn ati
 
Aik aadmi shrbat waly sy mujy aik glass shrbat ka do
Meri kisi sy larri hony wali hai
Shrbat waly ny aik glass diya tu is ne pee kr kaha
Mujy aik glass our do
Is trha wo peeta gya peeta gya akhir shrbat waly ny kaha
Miya thumari kis sy larri honi hai?
Is aadmi ny kaha
Aap sy kyun ke mery pas paise nhn hai
 

Aaik rossi pakstani dost ki ross ke wasee raqbe ka ahsasa dalna chaha
Wo bare fakhar sy bola
gr aap ross mein train mein swar ho tu tesre din bi ross hi ke andar ho gy
Pakstani dost: acha mera khyall tha k susat raftar traine sirf humare mulkh mein chalti hai

 
Bhkari sahib mein bohka hun aik rupa dy kr graeeb ki madad kary
Aadmi ary mein behra hun wrna aik chor das rupee dy dyta
 
Police inspector sipahi se tum ne chor ki griftar kiya?
Sipahi janab chor griftar nhn ho saka
Lekin is ki finger ky nashan mil gye hai
Inspector kaha hai?
Sipahi ji mery gall par
Asghar aaj mein aik faqeer ki jaan bachi
Akbar wo kasy
Asghar mein ny faqeer sy poch
Thumien das rupe dun tu kya ho ga
Tu faqeer ny kaha ky mein khushi sy mar jao ga
Akbar phr tum ny kya kiya?
Asghar mein ny faqeer ko das ka not dikha kr jaib mein rakh liya.
Aik bar aik jagha boht zor ka salab aya
Aur logo ka boht zyada nuqsan hwa
Inhi mein sy aik bangli sahib ka sab kuch salab mein bah gya
Barish boht zor shor sy ho rahi thi
Bar bar bajli chamk rahi thi
Bangli sahib ghbra gy our asman ki traf mun kr ky boly
Ay Allah Miya mera bacha bah gya
Mery janwar ah gy mera sab kuch bah gya
Our tu ab bi bati jala jala kr dakh raha hai
ky kuch bacha tu nhn
ustad nadeem sy aap ky walid kya krty hai?
Nadeem mery abu wakeel hai
Our amir thumare abu kya krty hai?
Amir sir mery abu doctor hai
Ahsan thumare abu kya krty hai?
Ahsan sir mery abu wohi krty hai jo meri ami kehti hai
Mulazmat ky liye  interview ho raha tha
Aik umeedwar ne tamam sawlat ky jawab drust dy diye
Akhir mein mumthen ny pocha
Ye bato gapochi gapochi gum gum ka kya mutlab hai?
Umeedwar ny afsurda lajhe mein kaha
Janab is ka saf saf nmutlab ye hai ky ap hazrat mujy mulazmat dyna nhn chehty.
Aik bar mirza ghalib ny apne sagrid sy kaha
Jub mein mar jao tu kehin sy parna kafan lana
Our is mein mujy lapet kr dafan kr dyna
Sagrid ny heran ho kr pocha is sy kya fadiya ho ga?
Mirza ghalib ny muskra kr jawab diya bohtt zyada fadiya ho ga
Bar khodar jub munkr nakeer hasb leny aye gy tu
Parna kafan dakh kr ye sumjhe gy k ye murdha parna hai
Is sy hasab katab ho chuka hai
Doctor Apne doctor dost sy thumara mareez saht yaab ho gya
Ab tum is qadar preshan kyun ho?
Doctor ka dost dra sal preshni is baat ki hai
Ab taq ye pata na chal saka ke wo kis dwa sy sehat yaab hwa hai
Hotel ky bry ny gahak sy kaha
Janab ap ny char any tip dy kr meri insult ki hai
Is par gahak ny pocha our kiya chehy ap ko
Bry ny kaha char any or di jay
Ye sun kar gahak ny kaha
Aik martba char any dy kr mein ny thumari
insult ki hai do barha char any dy kar mazed insult nhn krna chehta
Aik aadmi ny dusre sy afsos krty hwy kaha
Bhai boht afsos hwa thumare walid wafat pa gye
Wesy baymri kya thi
Wo aadmi bola
Bhrpa bi tu aik bymari hi hai
 bas bhrpa hi inhe lay gya
Aik bewaqoof ye bus duhwa kyun chorti hai?
Dusra bewaqoof sedhi si baat hai is ke andar aag lagi hui hai
Pehla bola haan waqi khtrnak bymari hai
Pechle dino is bymari sy boht sy bache mar gye.
Aik larke ny apne dost sy pocha
Yaar suna hai thumare mamo foat ho gye?
Akhir be chare ko kya marz tha?
Dost ne jawab diya
In ko bhool jane ka marz tha
Akhir aik din wo sans lena bhool gye
Faqeer aik rahgeer sy babo ji aik pasy ka swal hai mein langra hun
Rah geer passa dety hwy langra gona bi musbet hai
Magr andha hona tu is sy bhi bari musbet hai
Shukar kro ke tum andhe nhn ho
Faqeer babo ji phale mein andha tha tu log khote pase dey dety thy.
Aik shakhs ny lift ky liye aik car ki ashra kiya
Car is kr qareb aa kr ruki
Wo jladi sy is mein beth gya
Magr ye dakh kr heran rah gya
Ky drwing seet khali hai our gari khud chal rahi hai
Wo sahm gya lekin betha raha kafi der ky bad
Car patrol pump pr ruki
Pesne mein dube hwy aik shakhs ny potrol bhrya
or drwing seet pr betth gya car mein bethe hwy shakhs ny kaha
Aap is seet pr na bathe is ko jin chala rahe hai
Is ny kaha mein do meel sy is car ko dhka deta aa raha hun
Aur aap kah rahe hai ky isy jin chala rahe hai.
Gahak ny sabzi waly sy pocha
Ye sabzi kasi hai?
Sabzi wala bola janab do din pahle aap jo sabzi lay gye thy
Gahak bola
Wo tu boht taza thi
Sabzi waly ny itman'nan sy jwab diya
Tu be fikr ho kr ly jaye ye wohi sabzi hai
Pehla dost ali na jane apni kmai kaha khrach krta hai
Jub dakho qalash jub dakho jaib khali
Dusra dost kya is ny tum sy qaraz manga tha?
Pehla dost nhn mein ny is sy manga tha.
Ladki ladke se : darling mujhay aise propose karo,

Jaisa aaj tak kisi ne na kya ho,

Ladka : kamini zaleel i love u,

Mujh se shadi kar ky

Mujhay tabah kar diya  beghairat.
 

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